Life was easy when I was young. Life was simple and carefree.. I knew no difference from harm or hurt, I always thought my parents were right and that I had to be the perfect only child that could give them all.... I gave my days of drinking and having my life with my cats sleeping by my side to ignore the pain of lost loves.. rape, guns to my head and knives to my neck ... beating that made me wear long sleeves covered my shame. Covering the point that others could not see. I lost a lot of myself in those that have hurt me. I have gained more in the children that I have and the Husband to be that I will marry on July 28th this year. I chose to do certain things and others I rejected . I have lived my life and lived it with much . I am grateful for my knowledge  in love.. i am not perfect when it comes to this but I can say that after the violations that i have had I can hold strong to those dear to me. I have a strong hurt to those that come in and pull back. It is not my game . I do not pull back from anyone ... I tell it the way it is and show no lies. I really wish that others would pay forward the same thing.  I think it is really sad when those that pretend to like you really don't. I think it is really bad when persons play you like you are a joker... I guess it is good that I see that now after all my experience.